Claymooregrl
Profile Photos
Vital Stats
- Member Type: Silver Member
- Age: 49
- Location: Martinez, CA, United States
- Orientation: (Prefer Not to Say) (Post-Op M2F )
- Listed As: Girl (M2F)
- Looking For: Admirers, Friends
- Last Active: Dec 29th, 2007
- Joined: Sep 3rd, 2007
About Me
In Short:
I want to remain open to the possibilities.
More Detail:
When I was 19, I could barely contain these urges to live out the feminine side of myself. There were times I felt I had to be very secretive about entering society as a young girl rather than as a young man. My feminine side was quite infintile and not as mature as the masculine side. Still the side of me that was feminine was surely the dominant side from as long as I could recall.
I went to counseling to see if I could work this out that way. I saw a Christian psychologist and talked with pastors at the various churches I had attended over the years. Both were set against any outward expressions that did not conform to my sex at birth. Still, the psychologist was kinder, more understanding. The spiritual-based psychologist knew all because I really wanted to open up and I felt safer with her. I felt more and more comfortable talking with her as our sessions together progressed. When she heard of my secret forays into society as a woman she tried to redirect me into attending our sessions as a girl instead. I did that for a few years, and it only convinced me further that I felt more comfortable living in the feminine than I did as a man. I was heart broken when our sessions were over and I had to disrobe only to assume the male role once again before returning home. I was irritable and frankly a grouch.
Occasionally I would purge my feminine wardrobe by stuffing all articles of female clothing into a cardboard coffin that I would bury in the foothills in a symbolic gesture of laying her to rest. But she was me! How could I do such a thing to such a large part of myself? I would go for weeks feeling like a gutless, spineless hollow shell of a person until alas, I would return to liberate this part of myself again with a whole new set of clothing. (continued as first journal entry dated: September 4th, 2007)
4 Friends in Network
Guest Book
- Melanie B 11/09/2008 01:49 Claymooregrl Happy Birthday to a great looking Lady. I hope you had a great one. Hugs Melanie
Heather 9/28/2008 11:43 Hi again!!! Still hoping to meet you and get to know you. I understand things for people like us can be difficult, and I really do want to try and make our lives as happy as possible.Heather- Rachael Kay Kilgore 7/15/2008 10:44 Hello, I read you bio with great interest. I must say that your characterization of yourself as not that feminine is to me mis-guided. You seem to be a very lovely lady. Best wishes.
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